halloween

Seriously, what is it about this "holiday" anyway? For a lot of people, it just never gets old. Which is totally fine, I mean, why not. And I suppose I can see why: when you're little, it's fun to get dressed up. And it's fun to get free candy. Then a little later on, especially if you're a boy, it's fun to indulge your inner pyromaniac. Light shit on fire and whatnot. Later still, it's fun to go to parties and get drunk. And get dressed up again. Circle of life, or circle of the undead maybe. Whatever floats your boat.

It's a warzone outside of our house. Non-stop bright flashes and explosions ranging from continuous crackling to plain huge BOOMs. I just saw someone shoot off a flare, and that was cool - in a non-boat-safe kind of way. Watching it fall back to Earth, burning and leaving a smokey com-trail. I feel strangely inspired.

Anyway, main thing is be safe, kids. And if you have to check out that weird noise in the basement, for God's sake, don't go alone!

guitar chat

So a friend of a friend just won a brand new made in the USA Stratocaster. And he doesn't even play the guitar.

Not that I would trade mine for his, although his is worth considerably more money. Mine was made in Japan. In the early '80s, Fender opened it's first factory in Japan. The story goes, the Fender execs toured the plant after it opened in 1983 and when they saw the precision that the Japanese were getting on their instruments, the Americans wept.

I don't know if it's true or not, but I do love my guitar. I love two inanimate objects, and the Fender is one. It's not an original 1983, but according to the serial number (starts with A), it was made in '84 or '85. And everyone who has played it is amazed at how easy it is to play. The neck is quite skinny, for one, and the action is perfect (for me, anyway).

Now if he'd have won a Gibson SG or Les Paul, there would be a fair amount of cash money on the table right now.

warning!

So while I was driving yesterday, I was talking on my cell phone. Which is something that I really don't believe in, and in fact I swear a lot at people who I see doing this. Anyway, I stopped at a red light. Out of the corner of my eye, the perpendicular green light turned yellow, and I went.

YIKES!

1. I am so incredibly lucky that no one was running said yellow.

2. DO NOT TALK AND DRIVE, PEOPLE!

That is all.

Tina Fey for VP

Or, you know, my alternate universe wife.

Either one.

Seriously.

Man alive.

I feel good

I just did my good deed for the year: I saved a ladybug from drowning in a bowl of tobacco soup. Sadly, his/her life partner had already expired. And actually, it wasn't a bowl so much as a bundt pan, the sort that sits atop the garbage cans outside of my office. Who knows how long s/he had been swimming there, but by the time I spotted him/her, his/her legs were moving pretty slowly. As an aside, I may have to go out and buy a patch to stick on the little dude, s/he's probably freaking right the F out just about now.

why am I thinking of this? (rhetorical)

To begin, there is no good reason that I started thinking about this. This was a somewhat random thought that popped into my head as we were on the shuttle bus leaving the conference. And if you've just read the post about Avec, then I sincerely apologize (for both you reading that, and then you reading this immediately following). But.

Here is yet another reason to be thankful to be a guy: in the great world of very personal grooming, women have too many choices. There is the all natural (or, as one of the guys who I golf with once a year calls it, The Unfinished Basement). Which, sometimes, grows out to such a point that it can only be tamed by panties (as one girlfriend calls it, The Tuck). Then there are all these fancy cuts and styles that women can get - landing strip, triangle or other geometric shape, some ornate pattern or logo (the Playboy bunny seems popular online), or yes even The Brazillian. I'm sure there are plenty of others; I'll do more research later.

So how does one choose?

On the flip side, here are the options presented to a guy:

1. Do nothing. This is a guy specialty.
2. Do everything. This is not actually a real option, not even if your name is Dirk Diggler or Buck Naked.
3. Do some sort of neatening, like you might do once a year to that barely visible hedge in your yard. Sort of like the pubic equivalent to the bowl cut.

Actually, that's two too many options too. Hm.

Well, anyway, carry on with your internet surfing.

eating in Chicago, the good side

If you ever get a chance, go eat at Avec. It's at 615 Rudolph (or is it Randolph?) in The Loop. The little sister restaurant of Blackbird.

Furthermore, if they have the pappardelle with chicken liver sausage and cream sauce on the menu, order it tout de suite. Then eat the whole thing. That is the pinnacle of comfort food right there. Best pasta dish I've eaten all year. Fact.

They had a bunch of other stuff that looked damn good. For example, my neighbors got some bacon wrapped meat balls in a red pepper sauce. Oh man, the smell.

My starter was the beet salad with fennel, chives (though my other neighborgs got parsley for some reason) and a little chili oil. Not bad, though it needed some acid - lemon, I mean, not F'ing LSD you dirty hippie. My dessert was house made milk chocolate gelato with a shot of espresso poured over top and some pistachio biscuits. Now that was a damn good dessert. Not overly sweet, not really remotely sweet, just a really nice finish to the meal.

Cool room too.

Just go already.

observations from ORD, and general notes about our Southern Neighbors

1. I've just seen a whole bunch of people wearing Mickey Mouse hats. Some of these people may have been in their teens, maybe upper teens, some upper teens' parents, some upper teens' grandparents. I'm not sure what happened, or what still happens in that nurturing environment, but I don't like it.

Although, if they weren't Disney-based, if they were some other ridiculous hats - say, cowboy hats, or perhaps balloon animal hats - then I might actually applaud those folks. Yeah. I'd be envious, even. 'Cause you know what, life without the ability to feel humiliation must be damn nice.

2. I then saw some dude in a wheelchair. He was propelling himself forward with his feet. See, in contrast to the Mouse family, this guy's life must just be F'ing awful. What kind of life are you living if your hero is George Costanza? Careful dude, Mr Tomasulo is going to fire your ass from Play Now if he sees you!

3. If you can believe it, I then saw some dude wearing a blue wife beater that was being pulled everywhich way by his numerous carry-on bags thus exposing at least one nipple, cargo shorts, berkenstocks, and a hat that surely used to belong to the late Steve Irwin. Crikey, Outback Jack, here's hoping there'll be no snakes on your plane!

4. O'Hare Airport is a F'ing freak show.

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Things I always forget:

1. American Coke tastes terrible. It's grody. First of all, it's way too sweet. If I wanted way too sweet, I would have bought F'ing Pepsi (and, relatedly, I wonder what American Pepsi tastes like. My teeth!, they're melting at the thought). Secondly, it's really flat. Guess what, like my pop fizzy. If I wanted to skip the carbonation, I'd be drinking a F'ing coffee.

2. You never get full from eating salad, you just get tired of eating salad. I got an American portion of "Chinois chicken salad" from Wolfgang Puck's ORD outlet. Mm yummy. I guess it was Chinois because they used sauce arachide. Otherwise it sure looked like a regular cabbage based slaw with some chicken mixed in, to me. Oh wait, they also threw in some deep fried wonton skin wafers. Sorry, I apologize Wolfgang, you're right. Totally F'ing Chinois.

Anyway, that wasn't what I wanted to mention. The salad, despite the name (which was frankly a complete exercise in humiliation for me to order; the only thing missing was Mickey Mouse ears on my head) was okay - I mean I'm pretty sure it was the pick of the menu. I've had Mr Puck's famous pizza before, and it appeals about as much as Mr McCain's. But it was Huge. It was a F'ing dinner plate (plastic, natch) piled high with a good 1.5 lbs of that crazy ass Chinois Slaw. And yeah, I ate the whole thing. At the 75% mark I was about to give up, because it was just too much salad. But I continued so as not to waste it. And now I feel gross. Like, grody. So then the question is, how do you feel grody after eating a (supposedly) light and refreshing salad?

Maybe those weren't just wonton skins, maybe they were actually slices of low grade lardo deep fried in lower grade lardo. Or biodiesel. Gah.

-----

Things I'm always pleasantly reminded of:

1. People here are really friendly. They say that Canadians are really friendly, but I've never really understood that one. Canadians can be friendly, but not all are (Hello!). Americans are damn friendly to strangers.

2. American TV kicks ass. It's their true contribution to The World of Art.

Oh, hey, I watched ESPN HD - a lot. Wow, that is cool. I need to waste more of my disposable income to get that shit into my house. Every Sunday, having clear crisp NFL games beamed directly into my eyes surely would be worth some dollars. Right?

-----

The last word on traveling:
Man alive, I become a grumpy asshole when I'm stuck in airports.

-----

Actual last words, spoken later from my own living room:
It is always good to come home.

more observations from Chicago

Speaking of dating engineers, I must make a confession. And this is Not to be interpreted by any means as a Bad Thing (attention everyone at home).

But, I honestly thought that I would run into one of my exes here (water treatment engineer, who went to school at Northwestern - although she's originally from Florida - but I thought perhaps she might combine a work trip with a social visit; And whose company had a booth (sort of) at this conference). Furthermore, I was kind of hoping that I would. Not because I am pining for her, or want to restart anything - Not At All. Again, attention should be paid to the last 3 words. Honestly, it's because I am curious as to what happened to her. And because I am hoping that she is doing well.

Well, think what you will. But it's not bad. Not At All. Just curious.

Come on, you're not curious about any of your exes?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

observations from a conference

So I'm at WEFtec (the Water Environment Federation conference), which this year is taking place in Chicago. And man alive, it is huge. It's crazy. This conference is an industry in and of itself. The cash that is spent here, I will go out on a limb and say, is a lot. Hell, maybe even A Lot. McCormick Place, the conference center itself, is huge; it's got to be the biggest building I've ever been inside. Then the flights for people to get here. Then the exhibitors, whatever they pay just for the privilege of exhibiting their stuff here. Then the sponsors. Then the food (crazy markups, $2.75 for a can of pop and $3.25 for a bottle of friggin water - at a water conference, yes, I see the irony (do they?)). Then the maintenance and clean up crew. Then et ceteras. Nuts.

It's interesting, though, to see something like this happening.

This morning I spent 3+ hours wandering, and I probably saw about 25% or less of the actual exhibitors' floor. There are three separate areas, A B and C, and each is the size of, I dunno, at least 4 football fields. Walking around. Carrying this damn laptop, which I should have realized can't pick up free wifi (though I could enjoy the internet for $9.95/day).

But it is good to be here, for sure. And I'm grateful to my boss for sending me. There are some interesting booths, products, technology, ideas to be seen. Now is it economically worth it? Well, that depends on what comes out of this - whether we find a product that improves our own product or our efficiency, or we find a product developer that we can work with to establish a mutually beneficial relationship. Or I make a contact that leads to a project. Or, on some off chance, I personally become $X thousand smarter in the next 2 days. The last one is, of course, a long shot. But I believe one of those things will happen, so probably yes.

-----

The food. I already mentioned the markup on soft drinks. For lunch I had a "spicy chicken sandwich". It was a small chicken breast, marinated and slow cooked until tender, served on a squishy white bun with some condiments (I chose pickled jalapenos and some sort of indistinguishable brown sauce) and a pile of kettle chips, for $12.50 plus tax. Paper plates of course. Eaten while sitting on a park bench that's been bolted to a concrete floor indoors (think Home Depot). It was okay. It was about $4 okay. (I did have a pleasant conversation with some R&D dude from Boulder Colorado, so that's cool.)

I could have had something else - a slice of cheese OR sausage pizza, maybe, for $5 - which would have been $0.50 bad. Or a Chicago dog, which looked okay (price unknown), but I wasn't so sure about all those raw onions mixing with business, you know? To offset the nasal discomfort of that, I'd have to have been Even More Smarter.

So, not unlike at home, I have mostly been living off coffee. In this case, Starbucks. A tall house blend, which at home would be... $1.75 CDN or so? is $2.20 US here. And the line is always like 15 minutes long. Man alive.

-----

Here's an interesting thing, though. Background: in the engineering world, about... 8%? of the population is female. I don't know the actual number. UBC grad classes in the mid 90's were setting records at 20%, but remember this must be offset by all previous grad classes from the past 30+ years, many of which were 0%. Anyway, attendees to this conference are more than 10% women. Maybe 15%. And, using Seinfeld's law of datable people in the world, which if you don't know is 5%, that means that if you are a heterosexual male, then 0.75% of the people here should be datable women. But it's actually, I dunno, about 2% give or take.

How to explain this statistical anomaly? Well, the main thing I would guess is that people like sending attractive women to man their exhibit booths. Also, many of the people here aren't engineers. By extension, therefore, not all of these women are engineers.

Things I will say to prevent hate comments:

1. I have dated and/or been interested in and/or generally known plenty of female engineers in my life. Why This statistical anomaly? 1a. I am in the profession, and therefore have been exposed to many female engineers. That sounds lewd when read aloud, but I'm sure you get my gist. 1b. I am married to a Forester. Which, although heated enemies on campus, is pretty damn similar to being an Engineer. It's a bunch of applied science; people, we are all the same. 1c. Seinfeld's law does not necessarily apply to engineering (or forestry for that matter). I think this can be explained by the partially conflicting principle that geeky girls are kind of hot. Yeah, it's true.

I guess that's all I have. Therefore, the defence rests.

-----

(Later, as the conference is winding down.)

I just drank a beer in less than 3 minutes. Literally. I know it was American beer, but dang I was thirsty.

Here's one awesome thing about conferences: starting at about 12:01 pm, some exhibitors start to set up bars at their booths. And while I only had one beer (I choose to be Respectable), it Was free. Nice. But yeah, it lived one short life. Goodbye, free beer, see you in a couple hours.

drummers, revisited

Of course this list was going to be organic. Matt Tong, of Bloc Party, deserves to be on it too.

That is all.

super lame 'my day' blog entry for 4-Oct-08

Today we had a "little" first birthday party for the golden piglet. And by little, I mean 10 little kids, all 3 and under. Man alive, that is the definition of exhausting. But it was fun for them, I think, so all good.

Tonight I've been making soup (mushroom) and doing general prep for Thanksgiving dinner for the in-laws tomorrow. Which is another form of tiring, but at the same time, pretty fun. Yeah, it's true - cooking is, I find, a form of therapy: a place to get lost in creativity, planning, execution, and a goodly amount of ad libbing.

All night, I've had stuck in my head the Foo's. Specifically, perhaps because it's such a stormy night, "Up In Arms". You know... "The rain is here / and you, my dear / are still my friend. It's true / the two of us / are back as one again." Etc. What a great song. One I want to cover, with the boys.

Also, I was listening to the new Weezer album earlier, while cleaning up after the party. Track 10, "The Angel and The One." I didn't know Rivers had it in him.

Also, "Pig."

Later, I will brush my teeth and go to bed.

Is anyone actually reading this?

another iPod moment

More reminders of the 1990's, this time The Colour and The Shape. I like the Foo's, I mean, Dave Grohl is one talented dude. You can really see his influence in Nirvana's songwriting, even though Kurt is credited as having written most of their stuff.

But they (FF) never really put together a whole, great album. Except for that one.

The Colour and The Shape is, in my mind, an essential album. It was written as a concept to "document" the rise and fall of a relationship - and its recording, sadly, coincided with the end of Dave's own relationship at the time. Unfortunately, perhaps, sad relationship times make for the best songs. And this album has a lot of great songs, really well written, covering a pretty good range (as far as rock & roll is concerned). And, it showcases Dave's talents - as a drummer, guitarist, singer, and songwriter.

In fact, even though he is a guitarist first, I think Dave Grohl is one of the greatest drummers of all time.

Top 5 Drummers of All Time:

5. Taylor Hawkins, Foo Fighters
4. Dave Grohl, Nirvana / Foo Fighters
3. Matt Cameron, Soundgarden / Pearl Jam (though mostly for his Soundgarden work)
2. John Bonham, Led Zeppelin
1. Keith Moon, The Who

Yeah the list is organic, but 1-3 are pretty steady in my mind. And I do think that Dave belongs in the top 5. The reason why I list Taylor Hawkins in there, too, is because not only does he play all the parts that Dave originally recorded for TC&TS, but his subsequent work with the band is also Super impressive. And damn it, I can't help but be in awe of anyone who can sing and play drums with that kind of energy, with those massive fills.

Oh, and don't bother commenting about any drummer from Yes or Rush or something else equally lame. And don't bother telling me that Phil Collins and Don Henley sing and drum too. Yeah, I like "Boys of Summer" as much as the next kid who lived through 1984. But are you really going to claim that they are in the same league? No. So that's that.

more music triggered memories

Updating the iPod recently, I rediscovered Soul Coughing. In about 97-98, I went through a phase of listening to these guys All The Time. Actually saw them play Bumbershoot in Seattle in 1997, went down with a few friends (two friends and one crazy chick, if you must know; and no, I did not bring the crazy chick (thanks Bob)) and had such a great time. And their show was insane, a solid hour (or so?) of mad beats, lights and fog, and dancing fun.

We stayed at my friend James' place, he and his girlfriend were out of town. The crazy chick, let's call her Brenda, was an F'ing nightmare to live with, even for two nights. She used all of the toilet paper, like four rolls at least, dealing with her makeup. She broke their Bodum. I don't remember what else, but I do remember we had to go shopping at JC Penny afterwards to re-stock their house.

For some reason, Bob still ended up dating her. Well, I know the reason, but to this day I question that judgement.

After the Soul Coughing show, we were exhausted and still somewhat hazy from all the action - and we ended up running into an old Acquaintance of mine (let's call her Susan). Awkwardness ensued. I can't even remember who she was there with, but I don't think I said a word for the entire four (?) minute interaction; I just kind of deflected uncomfortable silence while trying to will a getaway. I was uninterested and certainly beyond able to deal with the situation. Thank you Mental Fugue, you once again saved me at the end of that night.

I look at these friends of mine now. We are still friends. We have, between Ardel, Bob and myself, five kids. (I am not counting Brenda, because I of course have no idea what happened to her.) My daughter is about to turn One, and the day after, Ardel (who just had her second son, see live blogging of birth link below) celebrates her birthday.

Life is funny.

Happy birthday to all you early October babies!