Madame Web is okay in my books

I watched Madame Web last night. It's been out for about a month now, surely you are aware of it - whether it's because of its star hating the movie (does she, though? I think at most she's just done with it and is ready to move on, but the world won't let her) or most of the universe hating the movie (13% Rotten Tomatoes), or the vocal (very much) minority who love it because it's 'so bad it's good'.

*Incidentally, these past couple weeks I've been witness to the great Dakota Johnson don't give a f unsheathing, and she's glorious. Previously I hadn't really given her much thought one way or another, but guess what, turns out she's great.

In this movie, Dakota Johnson is not great. Or is she? I like to thing she is, because like, what we see on screen, was that her intention? I think maybe it was! To just be 100% wtf am I doing here, what is happening to me, these lines are terrible, this script should not have been approved, green screen acting is wacky. Yes, this is conveyed perfectly, Dakota! I get it! I see you!

The script. For real, it's not good and in no universe would someone say yes let's spend $80 million to make this. Which is why I think maybe it was Sony's intention to make this movie the way they did, so they end up with this word of mouth cult eventual drinking game thing that lives on long past its tomato-meter.

The supporting cast has universally been called out for indifferent work as well, but I strongly disagree. Sydney Sweeney in particular I think just nails it - and I'm not a Sydney Sweeney stan (if I was, I promise you I would have watched the Voyeurs). But her timid school mouse archetype portrayal of her character was so good. Yes it was one note, they're all one note (script), but she does a fantastic job with what she's given. She out-acts the role. She put way more on screen than what was written on the page, I'm sure.

And hey marketing, I didn't even realize Adam Scott was in this movie until he appeared on screen about seven minutes in. And he too is acting, he's working the best he can with what he's given. Which, spoiler, is freaking Uncle Ben - Peter Parker's father figure and male role model. So it should be a huge part, or could be a huge part. It's not a huge part, it's again very generic and almost gives no nod to its importance. Who cares, says Adam Scott, let's roll camera and do this the same way we did Piranha 3D!

So in summary, go watch Madame Web, don't go watch Madame Web, Dakota Johnson don't give a f.