zombies walk the earth!

Yes. It's true.

Also, apologies for the extended absence. Updates to come, I promise!

zombie lifestyle deemed unsustainable

That's totally the thing about zombies - once the outbreak happens, it's an exponential decay. See, as a zombie, you go out and eat someone. And after a (reportedly) horrific few moments or minutes, dude dies. And then awakens to find himself a zombie brethern. Who is hungry. Who wants to eat him some live brains. So in your own state of insatiable hunger, you've not only exhausted a food source, but you've also created competition for other food sources, sources that are finite in number.

And then what? What about when we're All zombies? Then just aimless wandering, clutching our stomachs (if they're still there, right? Like if Beth from next door didn't eat it before turning you into a zombie, or if you're not someone who unfortunately died about 2 months ago and had to dig yourself out of the ground, only to find your stomach had decayed. Anyway), complaining about the lack of brains - FOR EVER?

(Above: Sarah Polley says, "No!") That would suck.

And that's why we should try to keep an eye out for any signs of zombification before they really get out of control, you know?

foie gras debate

The debate over animal rights and carivorism has in recent years been distilled down to one issue: foie gras. It's stupid, because the production of foie gras is insignificant compared to factory farming of chicken, say. But by the same token, it's become the lightning rod because it's perceived as a product aimed at a small segment, the "elite", of society.

Well, I know which side I stand on, you probably know which side I stand on, and if you don't like it, that's fine - just don't try to bully me into thinking that I'm wrong. And definitely don't try to take away my freedom to choose a side.

But there is nothing more that I could say, nor express as well, as what is written here. It's a good read, take a look.

sad and bad parts of America

There are many things about the US of A that are great: its collective inventiveness, its acceptance of being the "asshole" who thanklessly polices the rest of the world, Trader Joes.

TV such as 30 Rock or Lost aside, though, the entertainment industry is, in general, not a good side of America. The idea of fame trumping dignity, exemplified by such things as The Bachelor or Kim Kardashian, is truly tragic.

It's unfortunate, but there it is. Because people have an appetite for it.

On a semi-related note, I suppose very very loosely related, read this story about Miley Cyrus and Kanye West and Radiohead. It's so bizarre, I don't think I even really understand it.

From what I read, Thom Yorke decides that he doesn't want to meet Miley Cyrus, and Miley Cyrus' response is that she'll "ruin" Radiohead. 1. F off Miley Cyrus. 2. F off Miley Cyrus.

Kanye, well, I dunno. That one's a little different I suppose, only because despite his reputation and perhaps my personal opinion of his music (just plain disinterest, that's all), he is a fairly well respected musician. In other words, he would be a "peer".

Well, whatever. Thom may be an asshole himself, who knows. And Thom and Kanye are free to make influential music while being assholes to each other, that's their right.

But Miley Cyrus? SAD AND BAD, America.

Andy Richter back where he belongs

This is the best news I've read all year. And honestly, unless Selma Hayek decides to feed starving babies near my office during a lunch break in the near future, this may yet stand up as the greatest news story of 2009.

zombie tunes (likely not "monster mash")

Recently, someone got me stuck on the idea of creating a soundtrack for zombie life.

He thought Sigur Ros. My reaction: Sigur Ros? I dunno. Maybe, maybe if they were from the old-school George Romero zombie mold, beautifully tragic, moving slowly through un-death with only a single, simple desire to eat brains.

I hear Bloc Party - specifically the latest album, Intimacy, for the more modern Danny Boyle / Alex Garland zombie a la 28 Days (or Weeks) later. The frantic zombie, the zombie that can run and remember and is just fucking crazy with the rage.

Or Massive Attack, maybe, for the hybrid - the Resident Evil zombie. Modern, cultured, but still prone to bouts of ultra-violence.

Well, more thought needs to go into this very important subject. Clearly.

twitter

Okay, so I signed up for Twitter. Why, God, why? It's so horrible, I want to kill myself. (Now imagine me doing a step-down motion with my hands.) Facebook > Blog > Twitter. How can I stoop any lower? There is no lower stoop! Unless I get two fish and start live-blogging their interactions. Or install a webcam on my belt buckle. (1)

Anyway, the one single bright spot of Twitter, I really have to say, the one thing that keeps me from throwing myself into a passing jet engine above the Hudson River, is now I can "follow" Tina Fey.

Yep. Legal stalking. Hello!

She's super duper. A lot of her Twitter updates are potty humour, which in one sense surprises me, but in another, tickles me where the sun don't shine.

ANYway, so, one thing that I found on her Twitter feed was this awesome graphs website. Featuring:
Tina Fey and Sarah Palin Venn diagram,
trapped in an elevator with one bullet,
and the Short Visual History of Halo,

The last one is so true, so geeky but completely true. And the middle one is quite simply a laugh out loud'er. Holy F that's funny.

Other than that, Twitter verdict: ROOBISH!

(1) And by the by, please note that these ideas are now documented and time stamped as intellectual property.

come. on.

Twisted Tree Tempranillo.
$28 from the winery, $30-34 from a private shop here in Vancouver.

Ready? Here's the nutcracker:
This wine is from BC!

A BC Tempranillo?!? For $28!! Come on, people! Wake the F up!

(And PS: TT webmaster, you got a typo up. "Wew", yeah?)

Gah.

a moment for seriousness

Please, set aside a few hours, close the door, seat yourself, and clear your mind. Ready?

A thought occurred to me while driving this morning. And not a particularly new or original thought, I'm sure. But something that seemed profound in the bright warm winter morning sun, crossing the Ironworkers Memorial Bridge at 9 am. So John Irving, please feel free to take this idea, set it in New England, thrown in some high school wrestling and perhaps a bear, and fully explore it.

Life should not be measured in years or days or hours, but in moments and experiences. Right?

And with that, I continued driving like a maniac.

today we escape, we escape

From a cute email currently making the internet rounds.

Listen to this.

While staring at this: