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Prepare yourself. This will never happen again at any point in time, ever. Unless, possibly, you happen to have access to 1000 monkeys to let loose on 1000 WinXP machines.Okay, take a look on your left. The other day, I won 3 spider solitaires in a row! WTF, right? Crazy crazy stuff!Oh, and my 14 month old daughter used the potty for the first time the other day.But check it out, 3 wins in a row!
I just came up with a new word, "polygamize". A friend (Lee, Get In blog linked on the left) was just talking about a list of things that indicate when someone has Given Up. Wait, here:
Fashion Choices that say "I've Given Up"
- Sweat pants in public
- Flip flops in public
- Cutting your own hair
- Outwear that looks like it's made from a down comforter
- Going commando cause you've run out of clean underwear.
- Giant nose hairs
- Crusty pants
I replied that where he saw sadness, I saw Opportunity. As in, if I ever find a girl who covers points 1 and 5, I'm gonna polygamize her.
See, you thought I was going to say points 5 and 7, but that just ain't right.
Is it?
So there is this story circulating on Yahoo! about Tina Fey's husband talking about My AUW's scar on her left cheek. First off, dude, why are you talking about it? Listen: not that she needs to be, but she may be self-conscious about it, you know? And since she never talks about it, perhaps you shouldn't either.
Well, whatever. Tina, my AU love, if anything it adds cuteness to someone who is already a 10.
So the other night, we played with a cellist. Or more accurately, Erik and I jammed with a cellist, another singer, and yet another person. It kind of came about quickly, over drinks of course. Friday night we were out with a friend of mine (Kristina, singer, amongst other musical talents) and her sister who was visiting from Seattle, and sister's roommate. And to this moment I'm not totally sure how it came about, but Kristina claims that she was pushing Erik into jamming, because she knew I wanted to so bad. So he said sure. Which is all I heard, and all I needed to hear. I was on the phone immediately, booked the next night at 8 o'clock. Erik put out calls, messages, to the other guys. (No luck either way.)
Well the night progressed, and again I'm not totally sure how this happened, but the girls all got invited out to jam as well. Because Sis brought her cello as well as her banjo to Vancouver, I think is why.
Anyway, so the end verdict - it was fun. But it was Weird. While it was cool to be able to work on interactions between myself and Erik so well because we could really hear each other, it also illustrated how important - or certainly, how thoroughly integrated - all the other instruments are. The other guitar adds a real layer, and the bass - well, I just plain got lost a Lot that night, and I think it was the lack of Jason's bass. Whereas the drums provide the structure to the group, and the guitars fill the sound, the bass really is the glue that brings it all together.
But the cello, such a trip. There were times where it was so clear, and it was amazingly cool to hear. It just changed everything, and in a good way. My conclusion was: sometime, I need to hear the cello AND the bass together. Chris Walken wants more cowbell, I'd like to hear more strings.
And we didn't even break out the banjo!
With lines like this, quotes that are so versatile as to be usable in everyday - anyday - speech, how can you deny that 30 Rock is the funniest show on TV right now?
Which leads me to the inevitable Top 5 Sitcoms of all time. And that's a hard one. That's a thinker. Let's give it a shot, though, shall we? (And I'm restricting myself to American sit-coms here.) Okay...
5. Three's Company
I dunno, I want to put something sentimental in here. And no I haven't watched Three's Company for about ... I dunno, 20 years? So I'm sure that if I watched it now, it'd be completely stupid. But I did watch it with my Dad a lot (yeah, we watched weird TV together - considering I was less than 10. Three's Company for father son comedy, Dukes of Hazzard for the father and son drama). Sanford and Son or The Jeffersons might also make the list, and while both are funnier and smarter than Three's Company, it's a nostalgia thing.
4. Arrested Development
Tragedy. You burned too bright AD. The characters - the cast really, was an incredible ensemble. And can you pick your favourite? I've tried, but the short answer is no. However, is there one image that cracks you up no matter what? The answer is yes: Tobias in his cut off jean shorts. This show deserves a Top 3, and I'm sure it would have made it had it not been prematurely cancelled. Now having said that, I heard a rumour that they are Definitely making an AD movie. Franklin sure F'ing hopes so.
3. Cheers
I used to try to argue that this was the best sit-com of all time, but it just ain't true. It is, however, One of the best. The glory years were of course the Diane / Woody years. I mean, Rebecca was... okay; the Coach irritating more than anything. But even so, overall it was pretty hilarious. Dan Hedaya's career was built on Nick Tortelli. And Woody's song to Kelly. Oh, the one where Markie Post plays Diane's old roommate! "DINNER TIME!" Ha ha ha, yeah...
2. The Simpsons
They went through a fairly tough period there (the season of the Cape Fear episode, I mean, that was pretty painful during), but in retrospect even those episodes are pretty funny. But yeah at least one line in any given episode can send me into hysterics. Linguo. Mojo the helper monkey (Pray. For. Mo. Jo.). Any Halloween epsiode (exception: The Raven). Come on, Burns and Smithers?
1. Seinfeld
Truly, it had it all: hilarious, timeless (possibly Still the funniest show on TV, right?), progressive, controversial. It had the characters, including surely the best bit or side characters of all time (and that's another list, Top 5 Seinfeld Bit Characters: quickly, Babu Batt, Soup Nazi, J Peterman, Darren the Temp for Kramerica, Bookman the library cop). The writing. Again, Top 5 Seinfeld Episodes... well I dunno, but again quickly, the Contest (of course), Kramerica, the backwards one where they all go to India... man that one is hard. Even ones like Babu's first episode where he opens his restaurant and Elaine does the IQ test for George, or of course the Soup Nazi. Oh, the one where Molly Shannon doesn't swing her arms when she walks and Kramer wins a Tony (and has to fire Raquel Welch)! Aw you know, so many good ones, too hard, a topic for another day.
There are honourable mentions of course: Friends (yeah, I know, but it's true), Futurama. Wait, did you just say Everybody Loves Raymond? Sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
But currently, 30 Rock is kicking ass all over the place. Besides the delicate genius that is Tina Fey, I mean, Alex Baldwin may just be the greatest actor of his generation. Versatility. And Tracy Morgan - if you only know him through SNL, you don't really know him. Come on, he's funny ridiculous in a way that Jim Carey just plain wishes he was.
This year, I have to admit, I'm also addicted to the Big Bang Theory - and Gary Unmarried is pretty funny too.
You know something is truly funny if you are laughing at Season One episodes.
Alright, so I watch a lot of TV. Well, good thing I'm on the internet right now instead.
So has everyone got tinnitus, or is it just me?
And it's not actually an intermittent ringing noise like a phone, it's high pitched and continuous. When it's on. Sometimes it goes away. Those are good times.
Anywho.
I'm just so happy it's back! And between my AUW Tina's appearances on SNL and the guest stars that they have lined up for this season, I remain quite hopeful that this show will not suffer the same fate as Arrested Development (too good for this TV world).
Plus, man alive, it's time to get on the F-Train.
Almost. Almost. Spent the day traveling around the Nanaimo area for work, and at lunch I was so close to trying a Quizno's flatbread pizza. But I didn't.
I guess History will have to wait for another day.
So I'm watching the start of the Seahawks / Eagles game, and the fans in Seattle are just getting soaked. And I'm sitting here, looking out the window at partly cloudy (ie partly sunny) skies and thinking, yeah, it does rain more there! The Emerald City is inferior! Vancouver 1, Seattle 0.
20 minutes later, it is Pouring rain here. The proverbial cats and dogs - and relatedly, what exactly is the etymology of that phrase? Actually before you comment, save yourself a few keystrokes, 'cause I honestly don't care.
Oh btw, nice run by K-Rob. Pretty impressive. The Eagles tackling, not so much.
I apologize, person who is reading this, I forgot to tell you that I finally got the band back together last week! Yes, success.
It was Fun. Jason, Erik and I met last Friday at 7 and ran through some songs. Several songs. A (very) few sounded good, though rust was quite apparent throughout. Then Dan showed up at 9 and we played for another couple hours. Same deal. It became a case of not being too critical of the songs as wholes, (and man that sure looks like "whores"), but to find good parts in each of the songs. And ironically, I think we played the endings of a few songs quite well. Ironic because we usually have no idea how to end songs, and then proceed to butcher the bloody hell out of them until they just die unhappily.
Erik and I both were having some trouble with a few songs. You know what, if you don't play for months then trying to remember lyrics and chord progressions (or in his case, drum lines and progressions) during the actual song - well, it's harder than you might think. But we muddled through.
We did a lot of old songs - the theme of the evening was Nostalgia: Let Me Dial You Back To... 1996, 1994, 2003 etc. I think the best songs of the evening were Radiohead covers. Airbag (we played twice), Creep, National Anthem all went well. We managed to absolutely massacre Karma Police, though, unfortunately. Oh well, sorry lads. Next time, yeah?
Still, a Lot of fun. And now I'm trying to get another time commitment out of the boys. So... see you in 6 months I guess.
Well dang, I hope not.
