"good job sex doll"

With lines like this, quotes that are so versatile as to be usable in everyday - anyday - speech, how can you deny that 30 Rock is the funniest show on TV right now?

Which leads me to the inevitable Top 5 Sitcoms of all time. And that's a hard one. That's a thinker. Let's give it a shot, though, shall we? (And I'm restricting myself to American sit-coms here.) Okay...

5. Three's Company
I dunno, I want to put something sentimental in here. And no I haven't watched Three's Company for about ... I dunno, 20 years? So I'm sure that if I watched it now, it'd be completely stupid. But I did watch it with my Dad a lot (yeah, we watched weird TV together - considering I was less than 10. Three's Company for father son comedy, Dukes of Hazzard for the father and son drama). Sanford and Son or The Jeffersons might also make the list, and while both are funnier and smarter than Three's Company, it's a nostalgia thing.

4. Arrested Development
Tragedy. You burned too bright AD. The characters - the cast really, was an incredible ensemble. And can you pick your favourite? I've tried, but the short answer is no. However, is there one image that cracks you up no matter what? The answer is yes: Tobias in his cut off jean shorts. This show deserves a Top 3, and I'm sure it would have made it had it not been prematurely cancelled. Now having said that, I heard a rumour that they are Definitely making an AD movie. Franklin sure F'ing hopes so.

3. Cheers
I used to try to argue that this was the best sit-com of all time, but it just ain't true. It is, however, One of the best. The glory years were of course the Diane / Woody years. I mean, Rebecca was... okay; the Coach irritating more than anything. But even so, overall it was pretty hilarious. Dan Hedaya's career was built on Nick Tortelli. And Woody's song to Kelly. Oh, the one where Markie Post plays Diane's old roommate! "DINNER TIME!" Ha ha ha, yeah...

2. The Simpsons
They went through a fairly tough period there (the season of the Cape Fear episode, I mean, that was pretty painful during), but in retrospect even those episodes are pretty funny. But yeah at least one line in any given episode can send me into hysterics. Linguo. Mojo the helper monkey (Pray. For. Mo. Jo.). Any Halloween epsiode (exception: The Raven). Come on, Burns and Smithers?

1. Seinfeld
Truly, it had it all: hilarious, timeless (possibly Still the funniest show on TV, right?), progressive, controversial. It had the characters, including surely the best bit or side characters of all time (and that's another list, Top 5 Seinfeld Bit Characters: quickly, Babu Batt, Soup Nazi, J Peterman, Darren the Temp for Kramerica, Bookman the library cop). The writing. Again, Top 5 Seinfeld Episodes... well I dunno, but again quickly, the Contest (of course), Kramerica, the backwards one where they all go to India... man that one is hard. Even ones like Babu's first episode where he opens his restaurant and Elaine does the IQ test for George, or of course the Soup Nazi. Oh, the one where Molly Shannon doesn't swing her arms when she walks and Kramer wins a Tony (and has to fire Raquel Welch)! Aw you know, so many good ones, too hard, a topic for another day.

There are honourable mentions of course: Friends (yeah, I know, but it's true), Futurama. Wait, did you just say Everybody Loves Raymond? Sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

But currently, 30 Rock is kicking ass all over the place. Besides the delicate genius that is Tina Fey, I mean, Alex Baldwin may just be the greatest actor of his generation. Versatility. And Tracy Morgan - if you only know him through SNL, you don't really know him. Come on, he's funny ridiculous in a way that Jim Carey just plain wishes he was.

This year, I have to admit, I'm also addicted to the Big Bang Theory - and Gary Unmarried is pretty funny too.

You know something is truly funny if you are laughing at Season One episodes.

Alright, so I watch a lot of TV. Well, good thing I'm on the internet right now instead.

drummers, revisited

Of course this list was going to be organic. Matt Tong, of Bloc Party, deserves to be on it too.

That is all.

another iPod moment

More reminders of the 1990's, this time The Colour and The Shape. I like the Foo's, I mean, Dave Grohl is one talented dude. You can really see his influence in Nirvana's songwriting, even though Kurt is credited as having written most of their stuff.

But they (FF) never really put together a whole, great album. Except for that one.

The Colour and The Shape is, in my mind, an essential album. It was written as a concept to "document" the rise and fall of a relationship - and its recording, sadly, coincided with the end of Dave's own relationship at the time. Unfortunately, perhaps, sad relationship times make for the best songs. And this album has a lot of great songs, really well written, covering a pretty good range (as far as rock & roll is concerned). And, it showcases Dave's talents - as a drummer, guitarist, singer, and songwriter.

In fact, even though he is a guitarist first, I think Dave Grohl is one of the greatest drummers of all time.

Top 5 Drummers of All Time:

5. Taylor Hawkins, Foo Fighters
4. Dave Grohl, Nirvana / Foo Fighters
3. Matt Cameron, Soundgarden / Pearl Jam (though mostly for his Soundgarden work)
2. John Bonham, Led Zeppelin
1. Keith Moon, The Who

Yeah the list is organic, but 1-3 are pretty steady in my mind. And I do think that Dave belongs in the top 5. The reason why I list Taylor Hawkins in there, too, is because not only does he play all the parts that Dave originally recorded for TC&TS, but his subsequent work with the band is also Super impressive. And damn it, I can't help but be in awe of anyone who can sing and play drums with that kind of energy, with those massive fills.

Oh, and don't bother commenting about any drummer from Yes or Rush or something else equally lame. And don't bother telling me that Phil Collins and Don Henley sing and drum too. Yeah, I like "Boys of Summer" as much as the next kid who lived through 1984. But are you really going to claim that they are in the same league? No. So that's that.

top 5 dream jobs

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby illustrates, with almost alarming clarity, the inner workings of the young adult male mind. Well okay, so perhaps I can't speak for everyone, but certainly it illustrates the inner workings of my mind. And the illustration is graphic. Like anatomy textbook graphic. Without getting too deep into the What Have I Done versus What Have I Not Done, as compared to the protagonist, Rob, I can say that the former is surely a longer list than the latter.

Regardless, I mention the book only to pay tribute it, because I've been trying to work out my Top 5 Dream Jobs for the past 10 or so years, since I read Rob's list. And wouldn't you know it, they are remarkably similar.





Rob's Top 5 Dream Jobs

1. New Musical Express journalist, 1976-1979
2. Producer, Atlantic Records, 1964-1971
3. Musician (Any kind except for rap or classical)
4. Film director (any kind except for German or silent)
5. Architect

My Top 5 Dream Jobs (all present time)

1. Producer, own label
Yup, this tops even Musician. Because producers not only have staying power, but can potentially to work with a lot of different bands in a lot of different genres. Or, stick with one band and be the guy behind the scenes working the real magic. George Martin is of course the ultimate example of this. The thing is, you know what, I don't need or even want fame; fortune works just fine for me.

2. Musician, i.e. taking The Supergroup That Never Gigs pro
No explaination required, I don't think. It would be really great to be able to write and perform music for a living. I'm frankly not that interested in doing stadium shows, or touring for 3 years without end until I am ready to kill 3 of my best friends. But, I would love to be able to make a (decent) living from just playing and writing music. Awesomeness is what that would be. AWESOMENESS.

3. Owner / cook at a diner
I really like to cook. I probably opposite of hate to cook. The technical side is totally intriguing to me (edible science geekery); knife skills to searing to stocks sauces etc etc. And I totally enjoy the planning aspect of it. And composing a menu. And wine pairing. And and and. However, I am pretty sure I could not cut it night after night on a line. And frankly the pay would suck ass. Enter dream job scenario 3, whereby I win the lottery and/or become independently wealthy, and spend a fraction of said windfall on a small diner type of space. Nothing too fancy; breakfast and lunch, good coffee, rotate soups, daily / weekly specials, etc. Milkshakes! Just a low(er) stress environment in which to cook professionally. (And yeah I realize it's the independently wealthy qualifier that kind of makes it.)

4. Comic or graphic novel artist
Yeah, I know. Well I really love to draw, I mean when I was younger I REALLY loved to draw. Kids would go to soccer camp or hockey camp or whatever, and I was sent - with a smile on my face - to art camp. Loved it. (Incidental note: nowadays, the camps that kids are offered are F'ing insane. This past summer a friend of mine's kid went to (amongst other things) fencing camp and film camp! In a week they made their own movie! I was very envious! Exclamation point!) All through my teenage years I drew all the time. My favourite subject in school was art. If you ever want to check my high school notes, hell even my university notes, most of the margins and/or back pages and/or random pages that should have contained actual scholastic notes, are filled with sketches of cars, guns, bloody deaths, me in some morose and overly dramatic lovesick situation involving a short white girl... Yeah, good times.

5. Engineer
So, Rob had "Architect" - which he was not. I have "Engineer", which I am. And hey, I don't necessarily love coming to work every day, but neither do I hate it, having to grit my teeth to endure each and every day. Pay's decent. Get to boss people around a little. I feel very in control of my professional life. So yeah, it can be #5.

Honourable mention. Professional golfer
Okay, so here's the thing. Two things, actually. 1. I really enjoy playing golf. 2. I suck at playing golf. Thus this is relegated to HM. Well I guess this is all make-believe anyway, so maybe it should have been #5. Well anyway, I would love to be on the PGA tour. I would be very happy to be ranked 100 in the world, making a living - a damn good living - just playing golf. The endless touring again would probably wear you down, but man... still a pretty sweet gig. Golf = best dollar to potential injury ratio in pro sports. Fact.